‘The roots of resilience …are to be found in the sense of being understood by and existing in the mind and heart of a loving, attuned, and self-possessed other.’ — Diana Fosha
There comes a point in therapy when you have to bare all. Perhaps, like me, you spend your initial consultations with a new therapist delving into your life story, but find yourself holding back on your truth: It’s gritty, complicated, and you have to be sure she/he is the one.
Though that’s not to say your intentions aren’t well meaning. You hope that this will be the professional…
“In our steady insistance on proclaiming sex-distinction we have grown to consider most human attributes as masculine attributes, for the simple reason that they were allowed for men and forbidden to women.” — Charlotte Perkins Gilman (1860–1935)
I feel every inch a woman. Sometimes I really feel it. It empowers me somehow.
Though along with the perks, being a woman comes with expectations. I know, it’s hardly unheard of, but lately I’ve been thinking about how wonderfully radical it is that a female vice president now reigns in US politics; trumping out misogyny in the process.
That’s not to say…
‘Anyone who has lost something they thought was theirs forever finally comes to realise that nothing really belongs to them.’ — Paulo Coelho
Our lives are not built to be static. We’re all in a state of continuous change; the moments we feel as stillness are but in motion. Simultaneous with the passing of time.
We define security in our relationships, careers, our homes– we’ve made a life for ourselves. Perhaps we’ve worked hard to get there, so why question it? It’s our safe place, and we stick to what we know.
The truth about our fate is well-known, but…
‘I don’t know what’s worse: to not know what you are and be happy, or to become what you’ve always wanted to be, and feel alone.’ — Daniel Keyes
I’ve always been somewhat of a loner. Perhaps not in the eyes of the world, but in how I feel. I’m almost half-smiling because merely a decade ago, I would have disguised it at all costs. But here I am, about to bare it all. To you.
I’ve spent years in denial. Actively seeking my place in social circles to prove to myself I make the cut.
If the world thinks…
‘A professional writer is an amateur who didn’t quit’ — Richard Bach
For a writer, finding one’s voice is usually somewhere on the agenda. A fraction of writers will over time develop their own niche or writing style — I’d like to believe that if a reader were to read something I’d written, it would likely cement some familiarity to prepare them for the next one. Or at least, I’d hope.
With every read, a writer gives a piece of themselves: a new depth, experience, or perspective. …
‘You can’t change your past you can only alter the present for the future’
Some things in life are certain: The world turns on its axis, the leaves turn crisp and brown in the autumn, and each new day is beckoned by sunrise. When I think of those things, I reach a state of serenity much different from the reality of life. My ‘day to day’ at times lacks that same feeling. It is complex, expectant, always wanting more.
I prefer to consider our existence like that of the rotations of the world. Our breathing the force to keep the…
‘Prettiness is not a rent you pay for occupying a space marked ‘female’– Erin McKean: 2020)
I’m certainly not without my appearance woes — though that’s not to say I haven’t ever reaped the benefits of a woman who is ‘conventionally attractive’.
I’ll modestly admit I meet enough PP criteria to have seldom needed to hold a door open in the face of a hot-blooded male.
It’s just a fact of life.
But something about it doesn’t sit right.
‘Pretty privilage’ isn’t without its downsides. We all know the infamous ‘cat callers’ and ‘drink spikers’ have been shunned their fair…
Preface: ‘When the world is screaming at you to embrace the day and enjoy the wonderful things ahead, depression prevents the action. It leaves you in a trance – a dead-end, and you’re moving in slow motion. Maybe not literally but that’s how it feels.
Eventually, you will find that the happiest of times are ones of relief. Sheer relief that despite everything, you’re okay, your boy is okay, and life will go on whether you feel depressed or not.’
‘For a while, I did the best I could at caring for my baby and I simply let myself be…
‘The concept of romantic love affords a means of emotional manipulation which the male is free to exploit, since love is the only circumstance in which the female is (ideologically) pardoned for sexual activity’ (Millet 970: 37).
When it comes to love, trauma sets the stage for a life of dysfunction. Of course, it’s not a given, and victims can still lead healthy, long-lasting relationships — but it wouldn’t be without struggle. I’d put money on it.
For some, trauma transforms them into walking targets for those who get their kicks from prying the vulnerable — ones who know you’ll…
‘Love is love is love, because love is the proliferation of a generosity too abundant to be destroyed by an act of hate.’ (Bowring 2019: 13)
I’ve always worn my heart on my sleeve: Lost in the idea of meeting my person and drifting off into the sunset. Romeo meets Juliet. A ‘love at first sight’ scenario.
But we all know love doesn’t always work that way. It plays by it’s own rules. Of course, there are a few exceptions, but nothing reliable enough to make your life’s Mantra.
And isn’t growing old with someone you love one of life’s…
Freelance Journalist. Top Writer in Feminism. Content: Philosophy in Love, Mindfulness, Writing, Trauma, Feminism